Korean Superstitions: Ancient Beliefs in Modern Life

Every culture has its own set of superstitions, or unwritten rules and quiet rituals that shape daily habits and social behavior. In Korea, these beliefs reflect a blend of Shamanism, Confucian ethics, Buddhism, and folk wisdom, passed down through generations. While some appear quirky to outsiders, they often carry symbolic meaning, revealing how Koreans have historically sought to maintain harmony with ancestors, nature, and unseen forces. I was first introduced to many of these rules through my firsthand experiences within my Korean martial arts lineage many decades ago. Some of these rituals were fairly open and on display to students, whereas others were taught only to higher ranking students and instructors (too much culture shock for some I guess). Whether these rituals were relative to martial arts training, is a discussion for another day. However, I was exposed to some different aspects of Korean superstitions, which have helped me to expand my understanding of Eastern cultures.

This article explores a wide collection of Korean superstitions, ranging from everyday habits to ritual practices, while unpacking their origins and cultural significance. These are based upon my own personal communications of folklore” or “unpublished oral traditions” that I draw from my field knowledge and/or community memory.

Death and the Spirit World

Writing Names in Red Ink
In Korea, writing a living person’s name in red is taboo. Red ink was traditionally reserved for death registers and tomb inscriptions, marking separation from the living. To this day, writing someone’s name in red is thought to invite misfortune.

Chopsticks Upright in Rice
Placing chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice mimics ancestral death offerings made during rituals (jesa). Doing this at the table is considered deeply disrespectful and ominous.

Fan Death
One of Korea’s most famous modern beliefs is that sleeping in a closed room with an electric fan can cause death by suffocation or hypothermia. Popularized in the 1970s during energy-saving campaigns, this superstition persists even today, many fans sold in Korea include auto-off timers (Reuters, 2007).

Broken Mirrors
A broken mirror is considered dangerous. In older traditions, the edges were coated with dog feces and then discarded into running water. Mirrors were believed to act as portals; this ritual sealed the gateway and washed misfortune away.

Salt After Funerals
Throwing salt over one’s shoulders and toward the east, after attending a funeral purifies and prevents lingering spirits from following home. The east, symbolizing sunrise, represents life and renewal.

Salting a Room
Another ritual purification involves sprinkling salt around the perimeter of a room, especially in the corners where spirits are believed to hide. Salt is a powerful purifier in Korean Shamanism, banishing negativity and restoring balance.

Numbers, Dates, and Direction

The Number Four
The word “four” sounds like death (sa) in Sino-Korean pronunciation. As a result, hospitals and apartments may skip the 4th floor or label it “F”

Moving on Inauspicious Days
Before moving house or opening a business, many families consult a fortune teller(saju) or lunar calendar to avoid unlucky dates.

“Nail Days”
A lesser-known belief uses the calendar, where a folk astrological system is tied to geomantic principles. Count two days for each cardinal direction, and the ninth day is auspicious for beginning projects, conceiving children, or planting crops. The “nail” refers to construction of whatever project.

Bed Facing North
In Korean funerary customs, the deceased are laid with their heads pointing north. For this reason, it is considered inauspicious to sleep with the head of the bed in that direction.

Right Foot First
Stepping into a new building with the right foot ensures luck and prosperity, symbolically “putting your best foot forward.”

Man Entering First on the First Day of the Month
On the first of the month, it is considered good fortune if a man enters a home or business first, reflecting the auspicious, initiating power of yang energy.

Don’t Cut Corners

Try not to pass or hand objects over a corner of desk or table, so as not to bring bad luck by “cutting corners.”

Food and Household Rituals

Whistling at Night
Whistling in the dark is said to attract snakes or wandering spirits. In Shamanic belief, sound could summon unseen entities.

Giving Shoes as a Gift
Shoes symbolize departure, so gifting them may cause the recipient to “walk away” from the relationship. To avoid this, it is customary for the receiver to return a small coin as a symbolic purchase.

Noodles for Birthdays
Long, uncut noodles symbolize longevity and smooth life paths. On birthdays, Koreans often eat janchi guksu (banquet noodles), similar to “longevity noodles” in China.

Seaweed Soup Before Exams
While seaweed soup (miyeokguk) is eaten on birthdays for health, it is avoided before exams. Its slipperiness symbolizes knowledge slipping away.

Meal Offerings for Spirits
A portion of each dish may be removed and discarded outside as an offering to wandering spirits or guardian deities. This small sacrifice ensures spirits are appeased and do not cause harm (Kendall, 2009).

No Garbage After Sunset
Throwing trash away at night risks attracting negative spirits, as dusk belongs to the yin realm, associated with ghosts and misfortune.

Matchsticks on the Roof
Tossing burnt matchsticks onto the roof is believed to protect the household, using the symbolic power of fire to ward off evil.

Birds on Greeting Cards
Birds symbolize flight and departure. Placing bird imagery on cards, especially for celebrations, is avoided, as it could suggest the recipient “flying away.”

Conclusion: Superstitions as Cultural Wisdom

While many Koreans today may not follow these superstitions strictly, they remain woven into cultural consciousness. From avoiding red ink to serving long noodles, these practices reveal how Koreans have historically balanced the worlds of the living and the spiritual. Even as Korea modernizes, superstitions serve as a reminder that life is guided not only by logic, but by respect for unseen forces and ancestral wisdom.

References:

Fortune Cat on X: “Check out this infographic about KOREAN SUPERSTITIONS! #korean #goodluck #fortunecat #superstitions http://t.co/Up2HDEXNvI” / X. (n.d.). X (Formerly Twitter). https://x.com/FortuneCatAu/status/438563313266335744

Kendall, L. (2009). Shamans, housewives, and other restless spirits: Women in Korean ritual life. University of Hawaii Press. https://archive.org/details/shamanshousewive0000kend

Reuters. (2007, July 9). Electric fans and South Koreans: a deadly mix? Reuters. https://www.reuters.com/article/world/electric-fans-and-south-koreans-a-deadly-mix-idUSSEO210261/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

The Upside-Down King: A Lesson in Humility, Wisdom, and True Power

The Chinese character for humility is 谦 (qiān). The character for a king (or ruler) is 王 (wáng), but when flipped, it can be associated with something reversed, such as a reversed position, or lack of power. Combining these, one could interpret 谦王 (qiān wáng) as “humble ruler” or “modest king”, representing a ruler who is both powerful and humble.

In a time long ago, a great king ruled over a vast and prosperous land. Despite his power, he felt something was missing. Perhaps an imbalance in the heart of his kingdom and perhaps within himself. Recognizing the limits of his own understanding, the king invited a wise man to help restore harmony to his realm.

The wise man accepted the invitation, bringing with him not armies or gold, but clarity, insight, and timeless wisdom. Through thoughtful guidance, he realigned the kingdom’s priorities. Not by conquering enemies, but by restoring balance between the people and their values. He offered no lectures on dominance or strategy, but instead taught the king to listen more, act less, and lead from within. And then, without asking for any reward or recognition, the wise man quietly departed.

The king was stunned. He had expected a request for treasure or title. Instead, the king was left with only the echo of wisdom that had shifted the foundation of his being. He was no longer the same man. In honor of this transformative experience, the king ordered the Chinese character for “king” (王) to be turned upside down wherever it appeared in his palace.

This symbolic act was not a rejection of power, but rather a redefinition of it. By inverting the symbol of his own authority, the king declared a new truth:

Wisdom is greater than power. Humility is the highest throne.

The Deeper Meaning

While the tale may not be part of the classic canon of Chinese folklore, its message is deeply rooted in Eastern philosophy and holistic wisdom traditions.

In Taoist thought, the greatest rulers are often those who lead without force. The sage governs by aligning with the Tao or natural order, practicing wu wei or effortless action, and allowing things to unfold organically.

In Confucian ethics, the moral character of the ruler sets the tone for the nation. A wise and virtuous leader brings peace not through decrees but by embodying righteousness.

In Buddhist teachings, detachment from ego and recognition of impermanence guide the wise. Like the sage in the story, the Bodhisattva acts for the benefit of others without seeking personal gain.

The upside-down character becomes a living reminder: true power lies not in domination, but in service, awareness, and the willingness to learn.

A Reflection for Our Times

In today’s world, where leadership is often equated with control, and success with status, the Upside-Down King offers us a timeless teaching:

Sometimes, the greatest transformation comes not from gaining more, but from surrendering pride and embracing wisdom.

This story reminds us that holistic well-being begins with humility, whether we are leading others, caring for our health, or walking the path of self-discovery. The body may follow orders, but the soul responds to truth. And in the realm of wellness, just as in the kingdom of the wise king, balance is restored when wisdom reigns over ego.

I look forward to further sharing more of my message by partnering with hospitals, wellness centers, VA centers, schools on all levels, businesses, and individuals who see the value in building a stronger nation through building a healthier population.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

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https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

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Jim Moltzan

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Cheo-se – “Worldly Conduct and the Art of Social Navigation”

In Korean culture, few words capture the tension between wisdom and opportunism as clearly as Cheo-se. At its most basic level, the term refers to worldly conduct, or the way one carries oneself and manages relationships within society. Yet beneath this neutral definition lies a spectrum of connotations ranging from admirable diplomacy to manipulative flattery for personal benefit (Lee, 2003).

Literal Meaning and Origins

The word Cheo-se composed of two Chinese-derived syllables:

Cheo – “to be placed, to deal with, to handle.” It conveys the idea of one’s position or manner of responding to circumstances.
Se – “world, age, society.” It points toward the social and historical context in which one lives.

Together, Cheo-se literally means “to handle oneself in the world” (Sohn, 2001). Traditionally, this encompassed the skills of tact, discernment, and adaptability, qualities necessary for survival and success in a hierarchical society.

The Dual Nature of Cheo-se

Like many cultural concepts, cheo-se is not purely positive or negative. Its interpretation depends on intention and execution:

Positive sense: Cheo-se may describe the wisdom of diplomacy, courtesy, and adaptability. A person who practices it skillfully builds harmonious relationships, avoids unnecessary conflict, and thrives in diverse social settings. It reflects prudence and emotional intelligence.
Negative sense: At the same time, cheo-se can slide into opportunism. When “worldly conduct” is driven by ambition or self-interest, it becomes flattery, sycophancy, or manipulation. In this sense, cheo-se is akin to “knowing which way the wind blows” and adjusting behavior for personal gain, even at the cost of sincerity.

This dual nature has made cheo-se a subject of moral reflection in Korean history and literature, where figures are often judged by whether their social navigation was genuine or self-serving.

Korean proverbs warn of this danger. For example, “Sweet words may contain poison” emphasizes the risk of insincere praise. Similarly, “Words smeared on the lips” is a colloquial phrase for superficial flattery.

Cheo-se in Korean Society

Throughout Korean history, cheo-se has been shaped by Confucian values. In a system where respect for hierarchy and proper conduct were paramount, knowing how to present oneself appropriately could mean the difference between success and disgrace (Deuchler, 1992). For officials at court, scholars in examinations, or merchants in the marketplace, cheo-se was a vital skill.

In modern Korea, the term remains relevant. Navigating workplace hierarchies, academic competition, and social networks often requires an intuitive grasp of cheo-se. Compliments to a superior, careful word choice in meetings, or outward agreement with group consensus can all be forms of worldly conduct. While some see these as strategic necessities, others criticize them as shallow flattery that undermines authenticity.

Proverbs reflect this pragmatic side as well. “A word can pay back a thousand nyang debt” highlights the enormous power of speech and tact in relationships. While not inherently negative, it illustrates how skillful words, whether genuine or flattering can transform one’s fortunes.

Universal Lessons Beyond Korea

Although cheo-se is rooted in Korean language and culture, the underlying dilemma is universal. Every society wrestles with the line between:

Healthy diplomacy that fosters harmony and cooperation, and
Insincere flattery that erodes trust and integrity.

This concept resonates with English expressions such as “political savvy,” “social maneuvering,” or “playing the game.” In both East and West, the art of social navigation often raises the same ethical questions: How much should one adapt to the expectations of others? When does tact become manipulation? (Goffman, 1959).

A Holistic Perspective

From a holistic viewpoint, balancing body, mind, and spirit – cheo-se challenges us to consider authenticity in our interactions. While adaptability and courtesy are valuable, they lose their integrity when they mask true intentions or exploit others for personal benefit. Mindfulness practice, Taoist and Confucian philosophy, and even modern psychology all suggest the same principle: genuine respect must underlie social conduct (Tu, 1985; Kabat-Zinn, 2005).

Authentic cheo-se is not about bending to every wind of circumstance but about maintaining harmony while remaining true to one’s values. It is the art of being skillful without being deceitful, diplomatic without being servile, adaptive without being opportunistic.

Conclusion

The Korean concept of cheo-se offers a rich lens for examining the balance between adaptability and authenticity in human relationships. While it can describe admirable social wisdom, it can also slip into the realm of flattery and opportunism. Reflecting on cheo-se reminds us that our conduct in the world is always a dance between outer harmony and inner integrity.

For readers seeking to navigate modern life with grace, the lesson is clear: cultivate the art of cheo-se, but let sincerity and respect guide its practice.

References:

Deuchler, M. (1992). The Confucian transformation of Korea: A study of society and ideology. Harvard University Press. https://archive.org/details/confuciantransfo0000deuc

Goffman, E. (1959). The presentation of self in everyday life. Anchor Books.https://archive.org/details/presentationofs00goff

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005). Coming to our senses: Healing ourselves and the world through mindfulness. Hyperion.

Lee, P. H. (2003). Sourcebook of Korean civilization: From the seventeenth century to the modern period. Columbia University Press.

Sohn, H. M. (2001). The Korean language. Cambridge University Press.

Tu, W. M. (1985). Confucian thought: Selfhood as creative transformation. State University of New York Press.

Sae Hwalgi – “Renewed Energy”

The Path of Renewed Vitality and the Reality of Aging

In Korean martial arts and traditional language, expressions often carry layered meanings. One such expression is “Sae Hwalgi,” which literally translates to “new vitality” or “renewed energy.” At first glance, the phrase appears simple, but within martial instruction and holistic health contexts, it reflects both the natural vitality of youth and the inevitable decline of the body with age.

Linguistic Foundations

The phrase can be broken down into two key parts: Sae, meaning new or fresh, and hwalgi, meaning energy, vigor, or vitality (WordHippo, n.d.; Collins Dictionary, n.d.). In Korean everyday usage, hwalgi refers to liveliness and robustness, the spark of vigor that animates one’s daily life. In martial culture, however, the term also resonates with deeper energetic qualities, similar to the concept of qi (ki, or gi) – the life force that sustains movement and resilience.

Martial Perspective

For martial artists, aging creates a paradox. With experience comes wisdom, but with age comes loss of flexibility and suppleness. In youth, sae hwalgi manifests as hydrated tissues, supple joints, and rapid recovery. With age, however, connective tissues lose hydration, collagen stiffens, and movements that were once effortless become labored.

Research in connective tissue physiology supports this traditional observation. Studies have shown that aging reduces elastic fibers and hyaluronan content in muscles, while collagen type I increases, creating stiffness and functional decline (Fede et al., 2022). Martial masters may describe this process metaphorically as the loss of hwalgi, reminding practitioners that vitality is not permanent but must be cultivated.

The Science of Aging Tissues

From a biomedical perspective, hwalgi correlates with measurable changes in the body. Collagen loss, a systemic process associated with cellular aging, directly impacts tissue elasticity and hydration (Collagen loss, 2025). Fascia, the web of connective tissue supporting movement, is also profoundly affected by aging. Maintaining fascia through elastic training, hydration, and mobility work is crucial for sustaining vitality (Petersen, 2015).

These physical realities mirror what martial language describes: the transition from supple vitality (sae hwalgi) to diminished energy and rigidity as time passes.

Holistic Dimension

The decline of vitality is not purely physical. In holistic traditions, vitality depends on the balance of body, mind, and spirit. A calm, focused mind preserves energy, while a scattered or stressed mind depletes it. Similarly, qi depends on unobstructed circulation through meridians. Stress, stagnation, and aging create blockages that restrict this flow, contributing to both physical stiffness and mental fatigue.

Thus, sae hwalgi is not just a description of youthful elasticity but a call to action: to cultivate renewal of vitality through breath, awareness, and lifestyle practices that harmonize mind and body.

Renewal Practices: Cultivating Sae Hwalgi

While aging cannot be reversed, vitality can always be renewed in relative terms. Modern science and traditional practices converge on this principle. Ways to cultivate sae hwalgi include:

Breathwork – Deep diaphragmatic breathing regulates the autonomic nervous system and restores energy balance (Petersen, 2015).
Hydration and Nutrition – Adequate water and mineral intake support tissue elasticity (Fede et al., 2022).
Movement and Fascia Training – Martial forms, qigong, and mobility drills help fascia remain hydrated and resilient (Petersen, 2015).
Mental Clarity and Stress Management – Meditation prevents energy “leakage” and supports qi flow.
Adapting Martial Practice – Shifting from sheer force to refined technique preserves energy and allows martial arts to be practiced into old age (U.S. Kido Federation, 2024).

Conclusion

The wisdom of sae hwalgi lies in its dual nature. On one hand, it embodies the vigor of youth and the freshness of life’s energy. On the other, it acknowledges the inevitable loss of that vitality with age. Yet it is ultimately a hopeful concept. Through martial practice, breath, movement, and holistic awareness, vitality can be renewed at any stage of life.

For the martial artist, sae hwalgi is not a static state but a living reminder: though time may stiffen the body, the choice to renew vitality always remains.

References:

Collagen loss. (2025). In Wikipedia. Retrieved August 19, 2025, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collagen_loss

Collins Dictionary. (n.d.). Vigor – Translation in Korean. Retrieved August 19, 2025, from https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/korean-english/%ED%99%9C%EA%B8%B0

Fede, C., Fan, C., Pirri, C., Petrelli, L., Biz, C., Porzionato, A., Macchi, V., De Caro, R., & Stecco, C. (2022). The effects of aging on the intramuscular connective tissue. International Journal of Molecular Sciences, 23(19), 11061. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijms231911061

Petersen, S. (2015). The secret of fascia in the martial arts. In Fascial fitness [Conference paper]. ResearchGate. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275968128_The_secret_of_fascia_in_the_martial_arts

U.S. Kido Federation. (2024). Aging in the dojang: Adapting and thriving in Korean martial arts. U.S. Kido Federation. https://uskido.org/aging-in-the-dojang-adapting-and-thriving-in-korean-martial-arts/

WordHippo. (n.d.). What does 활기 (hwalgi) mean in Korean? Retrieved August 19, 2025, from https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the-meaning-of/korean-word-82ef1040fadbb9ea22d29d96a20391f04305253b.html

The Power of Connection: Building a Life Beyond Suffering

From adolescence onward, many people witness the ways in which pain and suffering manifest in daily life. The young often see relatives struggle with chronic illnesses, neighbors burdened by poor health choices, and peers wrestling with emotional distress. Such early encounters plant seeds of awareness, where pain is unavoidable in the human journey, but suffering may be shaped, managed, and sometimes transformed.

The Path of Pain and Lifestyle Choices

Physical pain is often the result of neglecting foundational aspects of health such as nutrition, exercise, rest, and stress management. The body, a remarkably resilient organism, also has limits. When repeatedly deprived of balanced nourishment or consistent movement, it expresses its distress in the form of aches, fatigue, or chronic illness (Gaskin & Richard, 2012).

Modern societies exacerbate this reality by promoting convenience foods, sedentary work, and overstimulation. The cumulative effects are clear in rising rates of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and musculoskeletal disorders. Such conditions create cycles of pain that can erode quality of life, often leading individuals to medical dependence rather than prevention. The lesson is that while pain may be unavoidable, much of it can be reduced or delayed through conscious lifestyle choices.

The Broader Dimension of Suffering

Yet suffering goes deeper than the body. Many people live with a sense of emptiness, disconnected from community and deprived of meaning. They may have food and shelter, yet suffer from emotional instability, loneliness, or lack of direction. This suffering often stems not from physical injury but from existential concerns of not knowing answers to questions of “Why am I here?” or “Does my life matter?” (Frankl, 2006).

Unlike pain, which often demands medical attention, suffering requires reflection, relationships, and a search for purpose. Without these, people drift into despair, self-destructive behaviors, or emotional volatility. Such suffering demonstrates that health is not only about the body but also about the mind, relationships, and spirit.

Loneliness and the Weight of Suffering

One of the most powerful drivers of suffering is loneliness. Being socially isolated not only worsens emotional health but also amplifies physical pain by magnifying stress responses and weakening resilience (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008). Studies have shown that chronic loneliness can be as detrimental to health as smoking or obesity, leading to higher risks of depression, cardiovascular disease, and premature mortality (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).

Loneliness is particularly insidious because it often perpetuates itself. Those who feel isolated may withdraw further, avoiding opportunities to connect, which deepens their sense of separation. This cycle of isolation fuels suffering far beyond the body, affecting identity, hope, and self-worth.

Broken Hearts and Aging Connections

A striking example of how emotional suffering manifests in the body is “broken heart syndrome,” or stress-induced cardiomyopathy. This condition occurs when intense emotional distress, often from the loss of a spouse or loved one triggers severe, temporary heart dysfunction (Sato et al., 1990; Templin et al., 2015). The heart literally weakens under the weight of grief, illustrating the inseparable link between emotional suffering and physical health.

As people grow older, they often seek new or renewed connections to ease loneliness and sustain emotional well-being. Humans are inherently social creatures, and emotional relationships, whether with people or even pets, help fulfill this basic need. When a spouse or others that are close to us passes away or social networks shrink with age, individuals may experience profound loneliness, intensifying their suffering. In these cases, companionship becomes not a luxury but a lifeline.

Opportunities for older adults to engage in community activities, intergenerational groups, or pet companionship can reduce both emotional and physical suffering. These connections reinforce the truth that resilience and health are not maintained in isolation but in relationships.

The Shared Human Path

One universal truth is that everyone will encounter both pain and suffering. No one escapes illness, injury, or loss entirely. The recognition of this shared path can bring humility and compassion. Yet what differs among individuals is how they respond. Some choose avoidance, denial, or bitterness, while others confront pain and suffering with acceptance, resilience, and even gratitude.

The difference lies not in the inevitability of these experiences but in the interpretation of them. As Viktor Frankl (2006) observed, while suffering cannot always be avoided, it can be given meaning and through meaning, it can be endured. This insight has been confirmed in modern psychology, where resilience and purpose are linked to better coping with both pain and adversity (Ryff & Singer, 2008).

Lessons from Research and Tradition

Insights from long-term studies and cultural traditions further illuminate how pain and suffering can be softened through meaning, purpose, and connection.

The Harvard Grant Study

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, often referred to as the Grant Study, followed participants for more than 80 years initiated in 1938, making it one of the longest longitudinal studies on human well-being. Its most consistent finding was that close relationships are the strongest predictor of happiness and health, more important than wealth, social class, or even genetics (Vaillant, 2012; Waldinger & Schulz, 2010). Good relationships not only reduce emotional suffering but also protect against physical pain by lowering stress and inflammation over time.

Ikigai: A Japanese Path to Meaning

In Japan, the concept of ikigai, literally translated as “a reason for being,” captures the balance of what one loves, what one is good at, what the world needs, and what one can contribute to. Ikigai provides a framework for resilience by encouraging individuals to align their daily lives with purpose and community (García & Miralles, 2017). Those who cultivate ikigai often report lower levels of existential suffering and higher life satisfaction, even in the face of aging and physical decline.

Blue Zones and Longevity

Research into the world’s “Blue Zones” or regions where people live significantly longer than average, reveals strikingly similar themes. Whether in Okinawa (Japan), Sardinia (Italy), or Nicoya (Costa Rica), communities with the greatest longevity consistently share features such as strong social ties, daily movement, plant-rich diets, and clear purpose in life (Buettner, 2012). These factors not only extend lifespan but also reduce suffering by integrating meaning, belonging, and resilience into everyday living.

Together, these insights affirm that pain and suffering are not best addressed in isolation. Instead, they are mitigated by community, purpose, and the daily practices of gratitude and connection that strengthen resilience over a lifetime.

Epilogue: Gratitude and Encounters That Shape Us

Life is short, and its brevity underscores the importance of gratitude. To practice gratitude is to recognize the gifts already present, in our love, our friends, our memories, our knowledge, and hopefully our wisdom. Gratitude does not deny pain or suffering, but rather it balances them by highlighting what is still good and enduring.

Along the way, we meet people who, whether for a moment, a year, or a lifetime, shape our paths. Sometimes these encounters steer us in new directions, open our hearts to deeper compassion, or recalibrate our perspectives. Influence is not measured by duration but by depth. Each interaction becomes part of the mosaic of our lives, enriching our journey with meaning.

In this sense, gratitude and human connection soften suffering. They remind us that while pain is unavoidable, we need not endure it in isolation or despair. By appreciating what we have and valuing the people who cross our paths, we transform life’s hardships into opportunities for growth and renewal. What might seem fleeting in time can, in fact, echo across a lifetime as a source of guidance and strength.

A Call to Action: Choosing Connection and Meaning

The challenge before us is clear. Pain will touch every life, and suffering will knock on every door. Yet within that reality lies our freedom to choose how we respond. Each of us has the capacity to soften suffering, both in ourselves and in others, by building healthier habits, nurturing relationships, and seeking meaning in everyday life.

Take time to care for your body through movement, rest, and nourishment. Cultivate your mind through learning, reflection, and discipline. Strengthen your spirit by practicing gratitude and living with purpose. Most importantly, reach out to others, because connection is the antidote to isolation. Join a group, call a friend, volunteer, or simply open your heart to a neighbor.

If we each commit to these small but powerful choices, we not only transform our own experience of pain and suffering, but we also create ripples of compassion and resilience that extend into our families, communities, and beyond.

The gift of living is not just to endure but to grow, connect, and share. The time to begin is today.

References:

Buettner, D. (2012). The blue zones: 9 lessons for living longer from the people who’ve lived the longest. National Geographic Books.

Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. W. W. Norton & Company.

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press. https://antilogicalism.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/mans-search-for-meaning.pdf

García, H., & Miralles, F. (2017). Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life. Penguin Books.

Gaskin, D. J., & Richard, P. (2012). The economic costs of pain in the United States. Journal of Pain, 13(8), 715–724. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpain.2012.03.009

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352

Ryff, C. D., & Singer, B. H. (2008). Know thyself and become what you are: A eudaimonic approach to psychological well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 9(1), 13–39. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-006-9019-0

Sato, H., Tateishi, H., Uchida, T., Dote, K., & Ishihara, M. (1990). Takotsubo-type cardiomyopathy due to multivessel spasm. Clinical Aspect of Myocardial Injury: From Ischemia to Heart Failure, 56, 56–64.

Templin, C., Ghadri, J. R., Diekmann, J., Napp, L. C., Bataiosu, D. R., Jaguszewski, M., … & Lüscher, T. F. (2015). Clinical features and outcomes of Takotsubo (broken heart) syndrome. New England Journal of Medicine, 373(10), 929–938. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMoa1406761

Vaillant, G. E. (2012). Triumphs of experience: The men of the Harvard Grant Study. Belknap Press.

Waldinger, R. J., & Schulz, M. S. (2010). What’s love got to do with it? Social functioning, perceived health, and daily happiness in married octogenarians. Psychology and Aging, 25(2), 422–431. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0019087