Blindfolded Discipline: When Devotion Becomes Exploitative is more than a personal story. It is a case study in resilience, moral clarity, and the capacity for self-reinvention after prolonged exposure to a high-control environment. For two decades, I navigated the intricate and often coercive dynamics of an insular martial arts organization, balancing loyalty, ambition, and self-doubt. Through personal transformation, I emerged not as a victim, but as a self-aware survivor who redefined mastery on my own terms.
From a psychological standpoint, this journey reveals the subtle mechanisms of indoctrination. From incremental increases in commitment to the blurring of personal boundaries, and the complex interplay of group identity, authority, and self-concept. It also shows how two people can share the same environment yet walk away with vastly different interpretations, shaped by personal values, resilience, and readiness for change.
Drawing on over 45 years of experience, including two decades immersed in a closed, hierarchical group and 25 years exploring more open martial arts communities, I offer an unflinching look at the signs of control and the steps we can take to reclaim our autonomy. My insights are grounded in formal study in holistic health, interviews with high-level practitioners across styles, and extensive research into psychology and group dynamics.
This book is both a cautionary tale and a guide to recognizing unhealthy environments, fostering integrity, and building communities that nurture true growth. What makes this journey powerful is its balance between self-accountability and systemic critique. I openly acknowledge the personal choices that kept me in the group while also dissecting the structures that perpetuated control. This blend of honesty and analysis makes the story relatable to anyone who has wrestled with loyalty, ambition, or the fear of leaving a close-knit, high-control, insular system.
Ultimately, Blindfolded Discipline is about transformation, not just leaving a harmful environment, but building a life of integrity, autonomy, and purpose afterward. It offers valuable insights for anyone seeking to understand the psychology of high-control groups, the nature of commitment, and the process of reclaiming one’s own voice.
Available on Amazon at: https://a.co/d/cre1dT9
United Martial Arts Association 