For many years I heard the phrase, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” Like many clichés, it can sound overly simplistic at first. After all, knowledge, skill, experience, and competence certainly matter. A surgeon must know surgery. A pilot must know how to fly. A teacher must know their subject. Yet as I have grown older and observed the world around me, I have come to realize that who we know often determines whether our knowledge and abilities ever have the opportunity to be seen.
There is a reason another modern expression has become popular: “Your network determines your net worth.” While money is only one measure of worth, there is undeniable truth in the idea that our relationships, associations, and social circles influence our opportunities, income, and influence.
Skill Alone Is Not Enough
Consider the example of a Tai Chi instructor, yoga teacher, personal trainer, or holistic health educator.
One instructor may earn $25 per hour teaching in a small rural town. Another instructor with similar credentials may earn $100 or more per hour in Los Angeles, New York City, or another affluent metropolitan area. Does this automatically mean the latter instructor is four times more knowledgeable or skilled?
Not necessarily.
Many variables influence earning potential. Cost of living, demographics, local demand, cultural interests, disposable income, and population density all play significant roles. An instructor teaching in a city where wellness and fitness are highly valued may find a much larger audience willing to pay premium prices than someone teaching in a region where such services are viewed as luxuries rather than necessities.
The same principle applies to authors, artists, musicians, consultants, and speakers.
Many talented authors produce exceptional books that sell only a few hundred copies. Meanwhile, celebrities often publish books that immediately become bestsellers despite containing little original insight. The difference is frequently not the quality of the material, but the size and influence of the audience already connected to the author.
In practical terms, visibility often precedes opportunity.
Social Capital: An Invisible Asset
Economists and sociologists often refer to this phenomenon as social capital (Bourdieu, 1986; Putnam, 2000). Social capital refers to the resources available through relationships, trust, reciprocity, and social networks.
Unlike financial capital, social capital cannot be deposited into a bank account. Yet it may be equally valuable.
A recommendation from a trusted colleague can lead to a new career opportunity.
A referral from a satisfied client can produce years of additional business.
A conversation at the right time with the right person can alter the course of an entire life.
Throughout history, communities, guilds, religious organizations, professional associations, and social clubs have all functioned as networks that create opportunities for their members. Human beings are social creatures. We naturally place greater trust in people who are introduced through existing relationships than in complete strangers.
This reality is neither inherently good nor bad. It is simply part of human nature.
The Geography of Opportunity
Location itself can become a form of networking.
Living in a major metropolitan area exposes an individual to vastly different opportunities than living in a small town. The density of businesses, educational institutions, professional organizations, and potential clients creates a richer ecosystem of connections.
A fitness instructor in Manhattan may encounter hundreds of potential clients every week simply because of proximity. A holistic health educator in a smaller community may possess equal or greater expertise but have access to a much smaller audience.
The digital age has changed this dynamic somewhat. Through websites, podcasts, YouTube channels, social media, and online communities, individuals can now build networks that transcend geography. Yet even online, the principle remains the same. Success often depends not only on creating valuable content but also on building meaningful relationships with an audience.
The Psychology of Trust
Another reason networks matter is that people generally do business with those they know, like, and trust.
Psychologists have long recognized that familiarity influences decision-making. Repeated exposure tends to increase perceived trustworthiness, a phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect (Zajonc, 1968).
This helps explain why someone may choose a local instructor they know personally over another instructor who appears more qualified on paper.
Trust often outweighs credentials.
Likewise, a publisher may choose to invest in an author with an established following rather than a more talented unknown writer. The publisher is not merely purchasing a manuscript; they are purchasing access to an audience.
This can seem unfair at times. However, understanding the principle allows us to work with it rather than against it.
Building a Network the Right Way
The concept of networking sometimes receives criticism because people associate it with manipulation, self-promotion, or opportunism. However, authentic networking is not about collecting business cards or accumulating followers. It is about cultivating genuine relationships. The strongest networks are built on mutual benefit, trust, service, and reciprocity. They develop naturally when people consistently contribute value to others.
The martial arts instructor who helps students achieve their goals.
The wellness coach who genuinely cares about clients.
The author who provides meaningful insights.
The speaker who educates and inspires.
These individuals create goodwill that often returns to them through referrals, recommendations, and opportunities.
In this sense, networking becomes less about selling and more about serving.
The Warrior, Scholar, and Sage Perspective
From the perspective of the Warrior, Scholar, and Sage, networking takes on a deeper meaning.
The Warrior develops competence and discipline.
The Scholar develops knowledge and understanding.
The Sage develops relationships, wisdom, and human connection.
Without competence, relationships have limited value. Without relationships, competence may remain largely unnoticed. Success often emerges from the integration of all three.
The Warrior ensures that we possess genuine ability.
The Scholar ensures that we continue learning and growing.
The Sage reminds us that life is ultimately lived through relationships.
Many opportunities arise not because we aggressively seek them, but because others remember our character, our integrity, and the value we have consistently provided over time.
Final Reflections
While knowledge and skill remain essential, they do not exist in a vacuum. Human beings live, work, and thrive within networks of relationships. The old saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know,” is only partially true. A more accurate statement might be:
“What you know creates your value. Who you know creates your opportunities.”
Both matter. The challenge is not choosing one over the other but cultivating both simultaneously. Invest in your education. Develop your skills. Pursue mastery in your chosen field. But also invest in people. Build trust. Create meaningful relationships. Offer value. Help others succeed.
Over time, you may discover that your network becomes one of the most valuable assets you will ever possess, not merely for financial gain, but for friendship, purpose, growth, and the countless opportunities that arise when human beings genuinely connect.
References
Bourdieu, P. (1986). The forms of capital. In J. Richardson (Ed.), Handbook of theory and research for the sociology of education (pp. 241–258). Greenwood. https://publish.illinois.edu/crittheory/files/2023/01/Bourdieu-The-Forms-of-Capital.pdf
Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American community. Simon & Schuster. https://archive.org/details/bowlingalonecoll00putn
Zajonc, R. B. (1968). Attitudinal effects of mere exposure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Monograph Supplement, 9(2, Pt. 2), 1–27. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0025848
United Martial Arts Association 