Is Gratitude and Appreciation Outdated?

The Good Book says it’s better to give than to receive
I do my best to do my part
Nothin’ in my pockets, I got nothin’ up my sleeve
I keep my magic in my heart
Keep up your spirit, keep up your faith, baby
I am counting on you
You know what you’ve got to do

(Triumph – 80’s rock band)

What is up with more recent generations, who often don’t say thank you or express appreciation for others’ paying bills, buying groceries, preparing meals, dining out, creating education opportunities, and many other instances where in the past, people did so? Has this been the new norm for a while now and I just missed the memo? Maybe the email got lost in my AOL spam folder. Perhaps I am behind the times.

I think that my observation touches on a fascinating dynamic: gratitude as a social and cultural norm seems to have diluted over generations, influenced by shifts in our values, communication styles, and societal structures. In the past, gratitude wasn’t just a taught virtue. Expression of gratitude often had real tangible stakes, such as maintaining social connections, securing resources, or avoiding ostracization. A lack of a call thanking an older relative for a birthday or graduation gift would consequently cease future generosities. The pendulum now seems to have swung, with younger generations often less in sync with older generations as to the importance of explicit expressions of gratitude, especially in personal and financial matters.

For example, take the following scenario with a person choosing to treat a small group to an expensive fine dining experience. The younger participants freely order appetizers, entrees, and alcohol without regard for cost or acknowledgment that there may be a budget. At the end of the meal, all comment on how good the meal was, and then go on their separate ways. Another instance may be where an aging grandparent distributes their wealth before their passing but receives little appreciation nor thanks for the efforts that might greatly influence the beneficiaries’ futures. This behavior might stem from several interconnected factors:

Why This Happens

Changing Norms and Expectations
- In the past, gratitude was tied to survival and societal belonging. Today, individualism and a sense of entitlement may inadvertently reduce the perceived need to express thanks.
- Younger generations might see expressions of generosity as routine, expected or transactional, especially if they’ve grown up with parents or elders providing without clear expectations of acknowledgment.
Generational Blind Spots
- Many in their young adulthood haven’t had to manage substantial expenses themselves. Without the firsthand experience of the time and effort required to afford luxuries, they might not fully grasp the significance of such gestures.
- Digital communication norms have shifted the way gratitude is expressed, with younger people often favoring indirect methods over explicit verbal thanks, such as via texting emojis or likes.
Social and Economic Pressures
- With stressors like social issues, economic uncertainty, college costs, and other debt, younger people may unconsciously prioritize their immediate pleasure over reflecting on the bigger picture of generosity and sacrifice.

Addressing the Issue

If someone cares to bridge this gap constructively, here are some strategies:

Be the Example and Model by Discussing Gratitude
- Share how you learned the value of expressing thanks and why it’s meaningful. For example, one might say, “When I was younger, I eventually realized how important it was to show my appreciation, not just out of politeness, but because it helps to build and strengthen relationships.”
- Express your own gratitude openly, as this sets an example for others. For example, one could acknowledge the chef or server during the dining experience, demonstrating the power of recognition.
Gently Raise Awareness
- Reflect on the experience with them afterward. For instance: “I really enjoyed treating everyone to dinner, it was quite a special occasion for me. I hope you all felt the same way.”
- If you can find it appropriate, bring up the idea of cost in a non-confrontational way, such as: “Fine dining is a real treat. It made me think about how much time and effort goes into making something like that possible and memorable.”
Set Expectations Going Forward
- For similar future outings, one could propose some light boundaries or discussions about the value of shared experiences. For example, “Let’s keep it simple and focus on enjoying the moment. Feel free to order what you’d like, but keep in mind that we’re here to share a meaningful time together.”

Big Picture

While it might feel disheartening in the moment, remember that younger generations often do appreciate acts of kindness but might lack the social tools or awareness to express it in a way that others may recognize. By modeling, discussing, and gently guiding, you can help foster an understanding of gratitude that feels authentic to both parties, ensuring these experiences are both enjoyable and meaningful.

I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, physical fitness, stress management, human behavior, meditation, phytotherapy (herbs), music for healing, self-massage (acupressure), Daoyin (yoga), qigong, tai chi, and baguazhang.

Please contact me if you, your business, organization, or group, might be interested in hosting me to speak on a wide spectrum of topics relative to better health, fitness, and well-being.

I look forward to further sharing more of my message by partnering with hospitals, wellness centers, VA centers, schools on all levels, businesses, and individuals who see the value in building a stronger nation through building a healthier population.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

My holistic health blog is available at:

https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

Reducing Daily Stress Experienced by High School Students – Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Techniques

See something, say something, right? Do something!

Our teenage youths have been in distress now and for many years past. So much talk, but so little action. I am trying to do something, and it is time-proven and with a clear plan and direction.

Reducing daily stress experienced by high school students is possible through Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) techniques. I believe this to be accurate, as I have practiced and taught many stress management techniques for over 40 years to adults of all ages.

The goal of my proposed intervention is to reduce the typical daily stress that teenagers experience regularly on the individual level, while in high school. Daily stress often leads to mental health ailments of anxiety, depression, impaired focus, and lack of quality sleep. The target audience for this intervention is high school students, 14-18 years of age. Promoting focusing on mental health and well-being is crucial for overall health. This will be accomplished by myself or a qualified professional guiding participants through the various stages of change within the Transtheoretical Model (TTM) to encourage the practices of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). MBSR therapy is a meditation strategy that is used to help with stress management, sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, hypertension, chronic pain, cancer, diabetes mellitus, and other disorders (Kabat-Zinn, 2013).

MBSR techniques have little risk and can increase the agency that individuals have in managing mood swings and physical pain, as well as enhancing the quality of their own lives (Niazi & Niazi, 2011). Research from recent studies supports that some college students who practiced mindfulness along with their coursework, reported cognitive and wellbeing benefits, when practicing for as little as five minutes twice a week, dependent upon the specific type of mindfulness method implemented (O’Hare & Gemelli, 2023).

The Transtheoretical Model (TTM) will be utilized with this intervention. TTM encompasses more than one health-related behavior theory, which to me seems that TTM offers a more comprehensive strategy to help individuals to better understand and manage stressors within their daily life. Within TTM there are four key constructs that are thought to produce significant behavioral changes. The constructs are:

• Stages of changes

• Decisions balance

• Self/Efficacy/Temptations

• Processes of change

The first construct of TTM suggests that there are stages of change where precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance all affect human behavior. The second construct of decision balance suggests that when there are more pros than cons for a certain behavior, an individual will either move forward or backward within the stages. The third construct encourages a “can-do” attitude, where an individual may gain confidence and feel that they have more control and agency in their decisions. The fourth construct delves more into the details of experiential versus behavioral changes (Simons-Morton & Lodyga, 2021) where a person moves from the “thinking” state to a more active “doing” state of being. Overall, the TTM will help me to show participants how mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques can help students move from the “contemplation” stage to “action” by highlighting its effectiveness in stress reduction and management.

This intervention can be implemented by first contacting a local high school’s administration to explain the goals and benefits of sponsoring such an event. Once the administration agrees to support, promote, and manage the registration of students for a group setting workshop (intervention), a trained and/or qualified professional will come to the school’s auditorium after school finishes on a predetermined day. They can then present an initial 10-minute introduction of the potential goals and benefits to the students. Using a whiteboard and handwriting a few notes and health statistics from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the American Heart Association (AHA) will help draw their focus. My message that can be conveyed, is how as young adults, they can individually have self-efficacy over their thoughts, emotions, and relative coping mechanisms for managing stress. A major portion of this presentation will be explaining in some detail what the TTM is and how it is related to stress management. Another major component of this presentation will be an explanation of the methods and benefits of MBSR.

The professional will then ask those students interested in participating further in this intervention to answer only to themselves by signing a contract of commitment form to attend 3 10-minute sessions for a total of 8 weeks. There will be no consequence if the student decides not to continue, however, they will not receive any credit or reward upon completion if they do not attend. Sessions will be just after school ends, giving the students 5-10 minutes to get to the auditorium. Parent’s knowledge and support of their children’s participation are key components needed to reinforce their child’s commitment to accept the challenge of doing some type of task or activity that will potentially affect not only the individual but the whole family’s well-being. I would also invite and encourage parents to attend the sessions if they are available to do so.

My intervention can address the key constructs of TTM throughout the presentation. More specifically, the stages of change will need to be targeted as follows:

Precontemplation – In this stage, participants may not yet recognize a need to reduce stress or might not view it as an important priority. If they were in the room and attending my presentation, they are already past precontemplation, or else they would not have made the effort to come to the event.

Contemplation – With a goal of raising awareness of current teen health issues, I seek to motivate and inspire individuals to think more about becoming equipped to manage the impact stress has on their health and well-being, I will offer information regarding the benefits of mindfulness techniques to reduce stress, thereby affecting and improving overall health and well-being.

Preparation – In this stage I will be explaining how we will need to take action and how this group will be readied, in order to achieve a greater sense of agency over individual stress management. I will provide resources such as guided meditation apps or YouTube classes that can help support their practice.

Action – The phase of action is where participants will actively engage in MBSR exercises. Each session will review and build upon prior sessions. I will be encouraging them to practice regularly and offer other strategies to overcome potential hurdles and maintain motivation. Setting reminders on their phones and finding quiet places for meditation will help reinforce their self-practice.

Maintenance – In this phase, individuals will have successfully adopted mindfulness techniques into their daily routine and are most likely experiencing the benefits of having less stress. I can offer further strategies to help maintain their practice and prevent relapse, such as further opportunities for learning and growth through other techniques and resources. After this intervention concludes, there will be a follow-up survey one month after the event to determine if participants are still engaged in practicing the self-regulation techniques that they learned.

The construct of decision balance will be addressed and discussed at each session, as participants will be reviewing the pros and cons of returning for future sessions. If they feel that they are improving their stress management, they will be inclined and more self-motivated to continue.

The construct of self-efficacy of individuals will most likely increase as participants move through the stages of change.

For the construct of the processes of change, I would not going to go into much detail to the whole group. I feel that this construct, while important may be a bit more complex than what will already have been covered up to this point as far as human behavior is concerned. A slide will be available in the presentation, and I can offer further explanations as necessary.

The intended outcome of the intervention will be to hopefully have the participants be able to better recognize and manage stressful experiences, whether from events such as tests, time management, social interactions, and other activities that often manifest into stress.

Please contact me if you, your school, your business, your organization, or your group, might be interested in hosting me to speak on a wide spectrum of topics relative to better health, wellness, and fitness.

References:

American Heart Association: Childhood stress linked to higher risk of high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes in adults. (2024, January 17). Contify Life Science News, NA. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A779587760/ITBC?u=vol_vsc&sid=ebsco&xid=ed427911

CDC. (2023) The Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report: 2011–2021, https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/mental-health/index.htm

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013) Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition) (pp. 77-78, 351). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Niazi, A. K., & Niazi, S. K. (2011). Mindfulness-based stress reduction: A non-pharmacological approach for chronic illnesses. North American Journal of Medical Sciences, 3(1), 20. https://doi.org/10.4297/najms.2011.320

O’Hare, A. J., & Gemelli, Z. T. (2023). The effects of short interventions of focused-attention vs. self-compassion mindfulness meditation on undergraduate students: Evidence from self-report, classroom performance, and ERPs. PLoS ONE, 17(1), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0278826

Simons-Morton, B., & Lodyga, M. (2021). Behavior theory in public health practice and research. Jones & Bartlett Learning.

I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, stress management, qigong, tai chi, baguazhang, meditation, phytotherapy (herbs), music for healing, self-massage, and Daoyin (yoga).

Please contact me if you, your business, organization, or group, might be interested in hosting me to speak on a wide spectrum of topics relative to better health, wellness, and fitness.

I look forward to further sharing more of my message by partnering with hospitals, wellness centers, VA centers, schools on all levels, businesses and individuals that see the value in building a stronger nation through building a healthier population. I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

www.MindAndBodyExercises.com
https://www.facebook.com/MindAndBodyExercises/
https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises
https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/
https://umareg.com/masters-council/

www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

5th degree in Korean Kung Fu (Ship Pal Gye)
Recognized by Zen Wellness as a Master Level Instructor (gold coin)
Recognized by the Doh Yi Masters as a Fellow Doh Yi Master, having completed 10000 hours of training
Bachelor’s degree in Holistic Health

407-234-0119

Do you think “the higher power” has a gender?

I do not believe that God, Allah, Yahweh, the Divine, or whatever term we use for the higher power has a gender, nor race, ethnicity. These labels are all made from humans assuming that something greater and beyond us could be labeled as categorized by clergy, linguists or scientists is quite narcissistic on our part. Over the history of humanity, there were only two choices of male or female, so the higher power had to be one or the other in view of humans. When the Bible states in Genesis 1:27 “And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” If man (humans) was created in the image of God, many are led to think that God must be a male as Adam was the first human and a male.

If we can break away from our thoughts that the earth and humans are the center of the universe, we may be able to entertain the idea that other life or entities exist beyond what we know here on Earth. Perhaps elsewhere in the universe, their exists something beyond male or female, animal, or plant, etc. Perhaps when humans or other life passes on to their relative afterlife, all labels are removed. I would like to think that in heaven, Valhalla or whatever comes next, our age, gender, race, ethnicity, or any other dividing status would not follow us to that place of bliss.

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I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, stress management, qigong, tai chi, baguazhang, meditation, phytotherapy (herbs), music for healing, self-massage, and Daoyin (yoga).

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

Come join me at the 2024 Yoga Festival!

Come join me at the 2024 Yoga Festival!

I have a tent space rented from 10am-4pm at Lake Eola, near the bandshell. I will have many of my books, posters and herbal extracts (dit da jows) for purchase at a discount, for those who stop by. If you are not near Orlando or have no time, consider clicking some of my links below to see what type of education I am offering.

Many people don’t know that Tai chi is a type of qigong, which has roots in yoga. Tai chi is often referred to as “yoga in motion.”

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I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, stress management, qigong, tai chi, baguazhang, and yoga.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

Contact for times, locations and costs.

www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

Can someone die more than once in a lifetime?

I think yes, definitely. Severe trauma mentally or physically can trigger a “hard reset” where an individual is so affected that they are basically a different person(ality) after such events. See the soldier who returns home and can no longer relate to their friends and family due to what they have seen and experienced during war. Or the person who survives cancer or some type of near-death event, where they promise to make drastic changes to their lives once they recover. It is these types of events that shock an individual into what is truly most important to them, often being their own health, and the people around them that they hold dear.

I have come to understand that there are basically two paths to ego death. The first is what I have just been describing, through the trauma of pain and suffering. It often comes unannounced and free of a monetary charge. The second path to ego death is through self-cultivation, through prayer, meditation, skillful means, and perhaps other methods that inspire self-reflection. This path is most often deliberately pursued and usually comes with costs of time, sacrifice and resources whether monetary or otherwise.

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I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, stress management, qigong, tai chi, baguazhang, meditation, phytotherapy (herbs), music for healing, self-massage, and Daoyin (yoga).

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119