The Great American Contradiction: Why We Say One Thing and Do Another

My posts are mostly about holistic health, wellness, and various methods to achieve balance in our lives. Human behavior or psychology are subjects I have delved deeper into, as our behavior dramatically affects our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

The United States is a nation built on ideals of freedom, opportunity, and justice, but beneath these principles lies a web of contradictions. Many Americans know systemic issues, broken systems, and political dysfunction, yet they often feel powerless to enact meaningful change. Some believe they have no viable alternatives, while others simply don’t care as long as the consequences don’t affect them directly. Lack of agency (ability to act and make choices independently) and lack of control (exerting power or influence over others or outcomes) can have deep psychological effects, leading to many chronic cognitive ailments such as depression, anxiety, insecurity, and others. It’s time for a collective reckoning. Perhaps it’s time to ask not just, “Are we part of the problem?” but also, “What can we do to be part of the solution?”

Here’s a closer look at some of the most glaring contradictions or cognitive dissonance (the discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs or values) in American society, grouped by their interrelated themes:

🏛️ Government and Political Dysfunction

1. Term Limits vs. Career Politicians

There is widespread support for imposing term limits on politicians, yet career politicians dominate Washington. Many Americans believe fresh perspectives would benefit governance, but efforts to enforce limits consistently stall. Voters complain about corruption but continue re-electing the same people.

2. Politicians and Insider Trading vs. Public Trust

Most Americans believe politicians should not benefit from insider trading, yet cases of elected officials profiting from privileged information persist. Despite this, the same politicians often get re-elected. We claim to detest corruption but keep endorsing those who abuse their positions.

3. Foreign Wars vs. Public Opinion

A large portion of the population opposes foreign military interventions, yet the U.S. remains entangled in conflicts worldwide. Public sentiment rarely translates into policy changes, highlighting the disconnect between the will of the people and government actions.

4. Perceived Misuse of Tax Dollars vs. Continued Compliance

Taxpayers express frustration over how their money is spent, with glaring examples of inefficiency and corruption. For instance, California spent $24 billion to address homelessness, yet the crisis has only worsened. In November 2024, the Pentagon failed to pass its annual audit, meaning that it wasn’t able to fully account for how its $824 billion budget was used. This was the 7th failed audit in a row, since the Department of Defense became required to undergo yearly audits in 2018. Despite this, people continue paying taxes while feeling powerless to demand accountability.

5. Daylight Saving Time vs. Public Opinion

Twice a year, Americans grumble about the disruption caused by changing the clocks. Studies show that daylight saving time may increase health risks and reduce productivity, yet it persists. Despite widespread dissatisfaction, legislative inertia keeps the practice alive.

6. Limited Political Choices vs. Frustration with the Two-Party System

Americans lament the lack of political diversity and the stranglehold of the two-party system, yet alternative parties remain marginalized. Even though many feel disillusioned, they continue to choose between the “lesser of two evils.” Real change remains elusive because the system favors the status quo.

💰 Economics and Consumer Behavior

7. Support for Public Education vs. Private School Enrollment

Public education is hailed as the cornerstone of equal opportunity, yet families who can afford it often opt for private schooling. This creates a disconnect between advocating for public education and personal choices that contribute to inequality.

8. Supporting Local Businesses vs. Shopping Online

We talk about the importance of supporting local businesses, yet giants like Amazon, Walmart, and Starbucks continue to dominate, often putting small businesses out of business. Convenience, competitive pricing, and free shipping lure consumers away from their local economies.

9. Income Inequality vs. Celebrity Worship

While many decry income inequality and the wealth gap, America remains obsessed with celebrity culture and extravagant lifestyles. This fascination with the ultra-wealthy perpetuates distorted perceptions of success and value.

10. Perceived Value vs. Price Sensitivity

Consumers often complain about the declining quality of goods and services but continue purchasing cheap, mass-produced items instead of supporting higher-quality alternatives. The desire for instant gratification and low prices outweighs long-term sustainability.

🏥 Health, Lifestyle, and Well-Being

11. Fast Food Consumption vs. Health Awareness

We know fast food is unhealthy. Obesity, diabetes, and other ailments continue to soar, yet fast-food chains thrive. Parents claim they care about their children’s health but often default to convenience, feeding them processed foods while allowing endless hours of screen time. Nutrition takes a backseat to ease, and the consequences are generational.

12. Sedentary Lifestyles vs. Advocacy for Healthy Living

We advocate for fitness, movement, and healthy living, yet modern lifestyles promote sedentary habits such as long hours at desks, excessive screen time, and minimal physical activity. Knowledge doesn’t always translate to action.

13. Healthcare System Criticism vs. Reliance on It

Americans recognize that the healthcare system is broken, yet they remain reliant on it. Pharmaceutical companies flood the media with advertisements, influencing consumers and doctors alike. Few healthcare professionals advocate for changes in lifestyle, diet, and exercise favoring “a pill for every ill.” The system favors profits over people, but viable alternatives are scarce, leaving many trapped in a cycle of dependency.

14. Body Positivity vs. Unrealistic Beauty Standards

The body positivity movement advocates for acceptance and inclusivity, but media, advertising, and Hollywood continue to promote unrealistic beauty standards. Thinness, youth, and perfection remain the ideal, perpetuating negative body image and self-esteem issues.

15. Desire for Work-Life Balance vs. Overworking Culture

Many Americans yearn for a better work-life balance, yet the culture of overwork persists. Long hours, limited vacation time, and a “hustle mentality” lead to burnout and mental health struggles. We value personal well-being in theory but often sacrifice it in practice.

🌎 Environment and Sustainability

16. Environmental Awareness vs. Consumerism

Many Americans express concern about climate change and environmental degradation but continue consuming at unsustainable levels. Convenience, affordability, and habit often override sustainable choices. The “Not in My Backyard” (NIMBY) mentality prevails, as people want solutions without altering their lifestyles.

17. Recycling Rhetoric vs. Minimal Action

Americans advocate for recycling and environmental protection, yet most recycling programs are underutilized or ineffective. Many items placed in recycling bins end up in landfills, and people often lack awareness of proper recycling practices.

🔒 Privacy, Technology, and Social Isolation

18. Privacy Concerns vs. Social Media Addiction

Many express concerns over privacy and data security in the digital age, yet millions willingly share intimate details of their lives on platforms that harvest personal data. We fear surveillance but continue scrolling, liking, and posting. Convenience and entertainment often outweigh the fear of losing control over our private information.

19. Spam, Telemarketers, and Privacy Violations vs. Acceptance of Invasions

Americans complain about the relentless onslaught of spam calls, telemarketers, and digital intrusions, yet many accept these invasions as a normal part of modern life. We express frustration over privacy violations but rarely take steps to secure our information or demand accountability from corporations that exploit personal data.

20. Community Engagement vs. Social Isolation

Americans value community engagement and connection, yet the rise of digital communication and urbanization has led to increased social isolation. We crave connection but often retreat into virtual worlds, losing the sense of belonging that real communities provide. We see electronic devices as babysitters for children and adults alike, and then wonder why so many are depressed, anxious, and unable to be comfortable in real-life social settings.

21. Mistrust of Big Tech vs. Dependence on It

Americans frequently express mistrust of big tech companies, citing concerns about monopolies, privacy, and censorship. Yet, dependence on platforms like Google, Facebook, and Amazon remains pervasive. We resent their power but rely on their convenience.

⚖️ Ethics, Morality, and Social Justice

22. Human Rights Advocacy vs. Selective Outrage

Many advocate for human rights and justice but remain selective in their outrage, often influenced by political affiliations or cultural biases. Genuine concern for equality should transcend partisanship, yet inconsistencies persist.

23. Religious Values vs. Material Pursuits

America prides itself on being a nation of faith, yet materialism and consumerism often overshadow spiritual values. Many profess religious beliefs but prioritize wealth, status, and success over moral and ethical principles.

24. Public Demand for Change vs. Fear of Disruption

Perhaps the most significant contradiction is that while Americans express a desire for change, they also fear the disruption that change may bring. Breaking free from familiar systems requires effort, sacrifice, and discomfort—something many are unwilling to endure.

🪶 Historical Amnesia and Disregard for the Marginalized

25. The Forgotten Victims: Native Americans and Historical Amnesia

America celebrates its history of freedom and democracy while ignoring the ongoing consequences of genocide and displacement inflicted on Native American communities. Treaties were broken, lands were stolen, and entire cultures were nearly erased. Yet, mainstream narratives often gloss over these atrocities, perpetuating historical amnesia. The plight of Native Americans remains a footnote in history books, even as they continue to face systemic inequalities.

26. Advocacy for Social Justice vs. Ignoring Indigenous Struggles

While advocating for social justice and equality, many overlook the ongoing struggles of indigenous communities. Issues such as land sovereignty, environmental degradation, and broken treaties remain unresolved, highlighting a glaring inconsistency in America’s commitment to justice.

🔍 A Nation at a Crossroads

America’s contradictions are not just individual dilemmas—they reflect the collective psyche of a nation grappling with competing values and desires. To move forward, we must confront these inconsistencies with honesty and courage. True change starts not just by acknowledging these contradictions but by taking deliberate action to align our values with our behavior. “Change the world!” “Fix the system!”

Instead: Are we ready to face the mirror? How about changing ourselves?

I look forward to further sharing more of my message by partnering with hospitals, wellness centers, VA centers, schools on all levels, businesses, and individuals who see the value in building a stronger nation through building a healthier population.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

My holistic health blog is available at:

https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

“True words are seldom kind. Kind words are seldom true”

The statement, “True words are seldom kind. Kind words are seldom true,” reflects the dynamic interplay of yin and yang, as well as the balance between truth (emotion) and rightness (logic), with correctness emerging as their synthesis.

Yin and Yang in Truth and Kindness

Truth (Yang – Hard, Objective, Direct): Truth is clear and straightforward, focusing on facts rather than perceptions. It aligns with the logical aspect of “rightness,” emphasizing what is accurate over emotional considerations. Similar to yang, truth clarifies reality without prioritizing comfort.

Kindness (Yin – Soft, Subjective, Nurturing): Kindness is based on empathy and the emotional aspect of interactions. It often aims to soften the impact of truth to maintain harmony and relationships. This relates to the emotional side of “truthfulness,” focusing on how something feels rather than its factual accuracy. Similar to yin, kindness nurtures and soothes, sometimes prioritizing comfort over complete disclosure.

Correctness as Balance

Neither extreme of blunt truth nor gentle avoidance leads to effective communication. The optimal form of communication balances emotional sensitivity and logical correctness. Wisdom involves knowing when to emphasize accuracy, when to offer empathy, and how to integrate both aspects. Similar to how yin and yang transform under specific conditions, truth can be softened by kindness without compromising its integrity, while kindness can convey truth without becoming misleading. The skill of achieving balance lies in articulating what is true appropriately, ensuring it is both logically accurate and emotionally resonant.

Real-Life Examples of Truth vs. Kindness

Balanced (Correct – Yin-Yang): “I see your potential, and I think with some focused effort in these areas, you could perform at a higher level. I’d love to help you get there.”

Health & Well-Being:

Pure Truth (Yang): A doctor bluntly tells a patient, “You are dangerously overweight, and you need to lose weight immediately, or you risk serious health issues.”

Pure Kindness (Yin): “You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t worry about your weight.”

Balanced (Correct – Yin-Yang): “Your health is important, and I want to support you in making changes that will help you feel better and live longer.”

Relationships & Personal Growth:

Pure Truth (Yang): A friend tells another, “Your behavior is selfish, and that’s why people distance themselves from you.”

Pure Kindness (Yin): “You’re wonderful just as you are. Everyone should accept you without question.”

Balanced (Correct – Yin-Yang): “I value you as a friend, and I’ve noticed that some of your actions push people away. Would you be open to talking about ways to strengthen your relationships?”

Work & Professional Feedback:

Pure Truth (Yang): A boss tells an employee, “Your work is subpar, and you might not last here if you don’t improve.”

Pure Kindness (Yin): “You’re doing just fine, no worries!” (even when the work needs improvement).

Balanced (Correct – Yin-Yang): “I see your potential, and I think with some focused effort in these areas, you could perform at a higher level. I’d love to help you get there.”

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

My holistic health blog is available at:

https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

The Detriments of Social Media: A Closer Look at Polarizing Behavior

Social media has become an integral part of modern life, offering a platform for self-expression, networking, and information sharing. However, when individuals, especially those with professional careers, use social media to constantly post their political and social views, it can lead to unintended consequences. This behavior, particularly when it involves posting dozens of times a day with little engagement, can be polarizing and may negatively impact both personal and professional relationships. Beyond the social and professional risks, this kind of behavior can also have significant psychological and physiological effects, including stress, cortisol imbalances, and even obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-social-media-is-so-good-at-polarizing-us-11603105204

The Professional Risks

One of the most immediate detriments of excessive posting of polarizing views is the potential harm to one’s professional reputation. For individuals with established careers, social media often extends their professional identity. When their online presence is dominated by divisive political or social commentary, it can overshadow their expertise and accomplishments. Colleagues, clients, or professional networks with differing views may feel alienated, leading to strained relationships or missed opportunities. In extreme cases, this behavior can even result in job loss or damage to one’s career trajectory, as employers increasingly scrutinize employees’ online activity.

Engagement and Feedback

Another notable issue is the lack of engagement these posts often receive. When individuals post frequently and assertively, framing their views as absolute truths, it can discourage others from responding. People may find the content unrelatable, exhausting, or confrontational, leading to a lack of meaningful dialogue. Over time, this can create an echo chamber where the individual only hears their own voice, further entrenching their beliefs and isolating them from diverse perspectives. This lack of engagement can also be a sign that their approach is counterproductive, as it fails to foster the kind of constructive conversations that could lead to mutual understanding.

https://www.emarketer.com/content/social-media-boost-mental-health-millennials

A Shift in How We Engage with Perspectives

In the past, before the advent of social media, people often engaged in face-to-face conversations where curiosity about others’ perspectives was more common. There was a natural inclination to ask questions, listen, and seek to understand differing viewpoints. Social media, however, has fundamentally altered this dynamic. Today, we are freely able and often inundated with the thoughts and opinions of others, sometimes to the point of oversaturation. While this transparency can foster connection, it can also lead to fatigue, especially when those opinions are expressed aggressively or excessively. The mystery and curiosity that once fueled meaningful dialogue are often replaced by a sense of overexposure, where the sheer volume of content can make it difficult to engage thoughtfully.

Psychological and Emotional Impact

The psychological and emotional toll of this behavior cannot be overlooked. Constantly posting polarizing content may stem from a deep-seated need for validation or a desire to influence others. However, when these posts go unnoticed or unacknowledged, it can lead to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, or even anger. Over time, this cycle can contribute to heightened stress levels and emotional exhaustion. Moreover, the act of repeatedly sharing strong opinions can become compulsive, resembling obsessive-compulsive tendencies. The individual may feel an uncontrollable urge to post, even when it no longer serves a constructive purpose. If someone has the time, effort, and energy to blame others for all of the world’s ills, they also have the time to reflect and focus on becoming a better version of themselves. Rather than dwelling on external problems, shifting some of that energy toward self-improvement could yield far more positive and constructive outcomes.

Respecting Passion Without Sharing It

It’s worth noting that while someone’s efforts to advocate for a cause may appear noble or well-intentioned, not everyone will share their passion or agree with their methods. Social media often amplifies the visibility of these efforts, making it seem as though everyone should be equally invested. However, it’s important to recognize that people have different priorities, values, and capacities for engagement. What one person sees as a critical issue worthy of relentless advocacy, another may view as less pressing or outside their sphere of interest. This disconnect doesn’t diminish the value of the cause itself, but it highlights the importance of respecting boundaries and understanding that not everyone will share the same level of enthusiasm or commitment.

Physiological Effects: Stress, Cortisol, and Chemical Imbalances

The psychological stress associated with excessive social media use can also manifest physiologically. Chronic stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that, in excess, can disrupt the body’s natural balance. Elevated cortisol levels have been linked to a range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and weakened immune function. For individuals who are constantly engaged in online debates or who feel compelled to post frequently, this stress response can become a persistent state, leading to long-term health consequences.

Additionally, the dopamine-driven nature of social media can exacerbate these issues. The anticipation of likes, shares, or comments triggers dopamine release, reinforcing a habit loop. Over time, this can contribute to compulsive posting, as individuals seek continued validation through online interactions. This chemical imbalance can make it difficult for individuals to step away from social media, even when they recognize its negative impact on their lives.

Constructive Approaches for Change

For individuals who find themselves caught in this cycle, there are steps they can take to create a healthier and more balanced online presence. First, they might consider diversifying their content to include professional achievements, personal interests, or neutral topics that encourage broader engagement. Framing opinions in a way that invites dialogue—such as asking, “What are your thoughts on this?”—can also foster more respectful and productive conversations. Additionally, limiting the frequency of posts and focusing on quality over quantity can help reduce the compulsive urge to share and create a more thoughtful online presence.

For Observers: Setting Boundaries and Offering Support

For those who are on the receiving end of this behavior, it’s important to set boundaries. If the constant stream of polarizing posts becomes overwhelming, muting or unfollowing the individual on social media can help maintain mental well-being while preserving professional relationships. It’s also helpful to remember that their behavior is likely a reflection of their own experiences and beliefs, not a personal attack. In some cases, offering constructive feedback—if the relationship allows—can encourage them to reflect on their approach and its impact on others.

Conclusion

While social media offers a powerful platform for self-expression, its misuse can have far-reaching consequences. For individuals who post their political and social views excessively, the risks include professional alienation, strained relationships, and psychological and physiological harm. By adopting a more balanced and thoughtful approach to social media, individuals can mitigate these detriments and create a more positive and productive online presence. For observers, setting boundaries and offering support can help navigate these challenging dynamics. Ultimately, social media is a tool, and its impact depends on how it is used. By using social media intentionally—fostering meaningful discussions rather than divisive debates—we can create a digital space that informs rather than isolates.

References:

Mims, C., & Holcroft, J. (2020, October 19). Why social media is so good at polarizing us. WSJ. https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-social-media-is-so-good-at-polarizing-us-11603105204

Professional Risks of Social Media Use

Brown, V. R., & Vaughn, E. D. (2011). The writing on the (Facebook) wall: The use of social networking sites in hiring decisions. Journal of Business and Psychology, 26(2), 219-225.

This study explores how employers evaluate candidates’ social media presence and the potential impact of polarizing content.

Echo Chambers and Engagement Issues

Pariser, E. (2011). The Filter Bubble: What the Internet Is Hiding from You. Penguin Press.

Discusses how social media algorithms reinforce pre-existing beliefs and limit exposure to diverse perspectives.

Psychological and Emotional Effects of Social Media Overuse

Twenge, J. M., Joiner, T. E., Rogers, M. L., & Martin, G. N. (2017). Increases in depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and suicide rates among U.S. adolescents after 2010 and links to increased new media screen time. Clinical Psychological Science, 6(1), 3–17. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702617723376

Examines how excessive screen time and social media use contribute to stress, anxiety, and depression.

Physiological Impact: Stress, Cortisol, and Dopamine

Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. Holt Paperbacks.

Explains how chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels affect mental and physical health.

Montag, C., & Reuter, M. (2017). Internet Addiction: Neuroscientific Approaches and Therapeutical Implications Including Smartphone Addiction. Springer.

Discusses dopamine-driven social media addiction and its effect on brain function.

I teach and offer lectures about holistic health, physical fitness, stress management, human behavior, meditation, phytotherapy (herbs), music for healing, self-massage (acupressure), Daoyin (yoga), qigong, tai chi, and baguazhang.

Please contact me if you, your business, organization, or group, might be interested in hosting me to speak on a wide spectrum of topics relative to better health, fitness, and well-being.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

My holistic health blog is available at:

https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

Inside the Circle: The Power and Peril of Closed Groups

The Role and Risks of Closed Social Groups in Martial Arts, Yoga, Clubs, and Other Exclusive Communities

Closed social groups, such as private yoga or martial arts schools, serve a unique purpose within their respective disciplines. Depending on the intent behind their structure, their exclusivity can have advantages and drawbacks. Similar dynamics can be found in other exclusive communities, such as religious orders, secret societies, and elite academic circles.

Advantages of Closed Groups

Focused Learning Environment
- By restricting access, students or members can focus on their objectives without outside distractions or feeling self-conscious under public scrutiny. This is particularly important for traditional martial arts, esoteric yoga practices, or spiritual communities that require deep practices of observation, contemplation, and meditation as their main focus.
Preservation of Tradition
- Many closed schools and societies follow lineages that prioritize secrecy or direct transmission from teacher to student. This can help to maintain authenticity, ensuring knowledge isn’t diluted or misrepresented.
Community and Trust
- A closed structured system can encourage a strong sense of belonging, loyalty, and trust among members. This is very important for practices that involve partner training, deep introspection, or energy work, as well as in religious and esoteric orders.
Safety and Progression
- Some disciplines involve physical conditioning or internal energy cultivation such as with advanced qigong, martial techniques, or breath control methods. Restricting access ensures students have proper guidance and do not attempt techniques without foundational preparation.

Potential Disadvantages

Exclusivity Can Limit Growth
- While privacy may support depth, it may also prevent potential new students from finding and benefiting from these practices. A highly restricted group may unintentionally create an echo chamber.
Loss of Cultural Exchange
- Martial arts, yoga, and many esoteric traditions have deep historical roots but have evolved through cultural exchange. Over-restricting access could hinder the natural development of these traditions.
Risk of Elitism or Dogmatism
- If not managed well, closed groups can sometimes lead to rigid, authoritarian-type hierarchies, where senior members become resistant to new ideas or outsiders. This can lead to stagnation rather than growth.
Barrier to Understanding
- In some cases, secrecy can lead to stigma, misinformation, or misinterpretation from outsiders of the group who speculate about what happens within the group.

When Closed Groups Use Insular Dynamics

Closed groups, whether in martial arts, yoga, religious sects, secret societies, or elite academic circles, can sometimes encourage an “us vs. them” mentality, especially if they become overly insular. Various terms refer to these types of groups such as, but not limited to:

Dogmatic Communities
Ideological Isolation
Rigid Group Mentality
Sectarian Influence
Closed-System Thinking
Insulated Hierarchies
Excessive Group Loyalty
Echo Chamber Environments
Insular Traditions
Cult-like

Groupthink & Echo Chambers

Critical or objective thinking can diminish in highly insular groups as members conform to a singular worldview.
If a martial arts school, spiritual order, or elite academic group never questions its methods, or principles or refuses outside perspectives, it risks stagnation, stigma, and dogma.
Some groups discourage members from engaging with alternative viewpoints, reinforcing a “this is the only way” mindset.

Isolationism & “Us vs. Them” Mentality

If those outside of the group are viewed with hesitation, suspicion, or unworthiness, the group can become exclusionary rather than welcoming.
Some esoteric circles, religious sects, or martial arts schools forbid interactions with non-members, creating psychological dependence.
Over time, this can erode personal autonomy and discourage critical reflection.

Loaded Language & Indoctrination

Exclusive terminology or redefined words, such as “true knowledge,” “higher-level students,” “the only,” the original,” etc., can create a psychological barrier between insiders and outsiders.
Language may be used to elevate the in-group while dismissing external knowledge as inferior, dangerous or subversive.
In more extreme cases, dissenting members may be labeled as “unenlightened,” “not loyal,” “not ready,” “not qualified,” or “not clear” to justify exclusion.

Leader Worship & Hierarchical Control

Some martial arts or yoga masters, religious leaders, or academic figures present themselves as the sole gatekeeper of knowledge, discouraging students or disciples from questioning authority.
Strict obedience without space for personal growth can create an authoritarian dynamic, where members fear questioning the instructor, leader or those in authority.
This is especially risky in some of the internal arts and esoteric traditions, where progress is subjective and can be manipulated through metaphysical, mystical or vague claims.

How to Avoid or Become Aware of Insular Dynamics in Closed Groups

Encourage Critical Thinking: Healthy groups welcome questions and debate rather than discouraging independent thought.
Allow Cross-Training and Exchange: Exposure to other traditions, teachers, perspectives and resources keeps members from falling into dogma.
Maintain Ethical Boundaries: If the group expects extreme devotion, secrecy, or control over members’ lives, it’s a huge red flag.
Avoid Fear-Based Loyalty: No legitimate school or organization should use fear, guilt, or manipulation to keep members from leaving.
Foster Openness Without Dilution: A “semi-closed model,” where serious training is protected but knowledge is not hoarded, may be able to better balance tradition with accessibility.

Are Closed Groups Always Bad?

Not necessarily. Some amount of exclusivity can be beneficial for:

✅ Protecting advanced knowledge from misuse
✅ Maintaining depth and focus while training
✅ Creating a dedicated, distraction-free environment

However, if a group starts demanding absolute loyalty, rejecting all outsiders, or discouraging independent thinking, then it risks cult-like tendencies. Striking a balance between exclusivity and openness is key to ensuring that these groups remain places of learning, growth, and genuine tradition rather than echo chambers of control and manipulation.

With over 20 years of firsthand experience training, studying, and teaching in various closed groups across different settings, I have observed both their strengths and challenges. I then dedicated an additional 25 years to studying the underlying dynamics that shape these environments, recognizing both their positive and negative consequences. To deepen my understanding, I further invested four years into the study of psychology, religion, Eastern philosophy, sociology, psychophysiology, and other related fields, allowing me to analyze closed group behavior with a broader and more informed perspective.

Please contact me if you, your business, organization, or group, might be interested in hosting me to speak on a wide spectrum of topics relative to better health, fitness, and well-being.

I also have hundreds of FREE education video classes, lectures, and seminars available on my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindandBodyExercises

Many of my publications can be found on Amazon at:

http://www.Amazon.com/author/jimmoltzan

My holistic health blog is available at:

https://mindandbodyexercises.wordpress.com/

http://www.MindAndBodyExercises.com

Mind and Body Exercises on Google: https://posts.gle/aD47Qo

Jim Moltzan

407-234-0119

Is Gratitude and Appreciation Outdated?

The Good Book says it’s better to give than to receive
I do my best to do my part
Nothin’ in my pockets, I got nothin’ up my sleeve
I keep my magic in my heart
Keep up your spirit, keep up your faith, baby
I am counting on you
You know what you’ve got to do

(Triumph – 80’s rock band)

What is up with more recent generations, who often don’t say thank you or express appreciation for others’ paying bills, buying groceries, preparing meals, dining out, creating education opportunities, and many other instances where in the past, people did so? Has this been the new norm for a while now and I just missed the memo? Maybe the email got lost in my AOL spam folder. Perhaps I am behind the times.

I think that my observation touches on a fascinating dynamic: gratitude as a social and cultural norm seems to have diluted over generations, influenced by shifts in our values, communication styles, and societal structures. In the past, gratitude wasn’t just a taught virtue. Expression of gratitude often had real tangible stakes, such as maintaining social connections, securing resources, or avoiding ostracization. A lack of a call thanking an older relative for a birthday or graduation gift would consequently cease future generosities. The pendulum now seems to have swung, with younger generations often less in sync with older generations as to the importance of explicit expressions of gratitude, especially in personal and financial matters.

For example, take the following scenario with a person choosing to treat a small group to an expensive fine dining experience. The younger participants freely order appetizers, entrees, and alcohol without regard for cost or acknowledgment that there may be a budget. At the end of the meal, all comment on how good the meal was, and then go on their separate ways. Another instance may be where an aging grandparent distributes their wealth before their passing but receives little appreciation nor thanks for the efforts that might greatly influence the beneficiaries’ futures. This behavior might stem from several interconnected factors:

Why This Happens

Changing Norms and Expectations
- In the past, gratitude was tied to survival and societal belonging. Today, individualism and a sense of entitlement may inadvertently reduce the perceived need to express thanks.
- Younger generations might see expressions of generosity as routine, expected or transactional, especially if they’ve grown up with parents or elders providing without clear expectations of acknowledgment.
Generational Blind Spots
- Many in their young adulthood haven’t had to manage substantial expenses themselves. Without the firsthand experience of the time and effort required to afford luxuries, they might not fully grasp the significance of such gestures.
- Digital communication norms have shifted the way gratitude is expressed, with younger people often favoring indirect methods over explicit verbal thanks, such as via texting emojis or likes.
Social and Economic Pressures
- With stressors like social issues, economic uncertainty, college costs, and other debt, younger people may unconsciously prioritize their immediate pleasure over reflecting on the bigger picture of generosity and sacrifice.

Addressing the Issue

If someone cares to bridge this gap constructively, here are some strategies:

Be the Example and Model by Discussing Gratitude
- Share how you learned the value of expressing thanks and why it’s meaningful. For example, one might say, “When I was younger, I eventually realized how important it was to show my appreciation, not just out of politeness, but because it helps to build and strengthen relationships.”
- Express your own gratitude openly, as this sets an example for others. For example, one could acknowledge the chef or server during the dining experience, demonstrating the power of recognition.
Gently Raise Awareness
- Reflect on the experience with them afterward. For instance: “I really enjoyed treating everyone to dinner, it was quite a special occasion for me. I hope you all felt the same way.”
- If you can find it appropriate, bring up the idea of cost in a non-confrontational way, such as: “Fine dining is a real treat. It made me think about how much time and effort goes into making something like that possible and memorable.”
Set Expectations Going Forward
- For similar future outings, one could propose some light boundaries or discussions about the value of shared experiences. For example, “Let’s keep it simple and focus on enjoying the moment. Feel free to order what you’d like, but keep in mind that we’re here to share a meaningful time together.”

Big Picture

While it might feel disheartening in the moment, remember that younger generations often do appreciate acts of kindness but might lack the social tools or awareness to express it in a way that others may recognize. By modeling, discussing, and gently guiding, you can help foster an understanding of gratitude that feels authentic to both parties, ensuring these experiences are both enjoyable and meaningful.

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Jim Moltzan

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